note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
