We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
