i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
