Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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