going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize