your room smells of hookers.
And success
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
