I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
