Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
