oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
