I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
