So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
