Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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