there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
