Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
