We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
