So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
