Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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