Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
