I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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