Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
