I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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