which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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