Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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