Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
