There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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