I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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