I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We need to get me chipped asap
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
