do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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