He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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