So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
