i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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