Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
