I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will be naked everywhere
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dear god my vagina.
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