JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
