two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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