Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
