a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
