hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
