Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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