Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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