finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
