I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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