I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
