Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
