"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
