Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
