I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
