If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
