They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I enjoy the company of your penis
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