Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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